Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
