her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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