yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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