Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize