We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
