What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
