Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
