Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize