There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bang-toberfest begins!!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
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