I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
