Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
smell my finger.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize