u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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