i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
