I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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