i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
