But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was confusing and full of hummus
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
