stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
