I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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