i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
