I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
COCAINE IS GR8
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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