I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
