I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
