dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
