drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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