Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
