I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
