I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
