Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
third nipple confirmed
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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