similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
