Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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