Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
