He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
