saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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