Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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