I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize