This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You pole danced in your parka.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
