Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Randomize
