I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my shit smells like andre
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
