I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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