Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
