i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
