you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Randomize
