wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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