Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
