What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize