Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
