Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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