just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
