I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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