i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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