@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
