i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
