Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This baby is an asshole
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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