everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
