the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
