dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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