I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
