escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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