I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
nutella sex= disaster
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
