it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
