It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
