What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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