i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
