The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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