Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
