I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
