She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize